things to not put in your butt
I WATCHED THIS VIDEO BEFORE I LOST MY VIRGINITY BECAUSE THE TITLE WAS FUNNY AND I AM SO GLAD I DID BECAUSE WHEN I WAS DOING THE DO I THOUGHT OF IT AND QUOTED IT SO THE GUY I WAS WITH HAD TO STOP AND SIT DOWN FOR 10 MINUTES. WE GOT PIZZA INSTEAD OF DOING ANYTHING ELSE. MEMORIES.
Well now I can correctly moonwalk away from uncomfortable situations
Because everyone deserves to know how to do a mean moonwalk.
guYS THIS IS IMPORTANT
its not important
At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.
So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.
SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.
She refused to fix my grade.
In the end, she shit herself on stage.
I didn’t regret it.
oh my god so i was band merch hunting at hot topic yesterday, and you know it was busy, lots of other folks in the store looking around, when all of a sudden the intro to Welcome To The Black Parade came on
LITERALLY THE WHOLE STORE WENT SILENT
IT WAS LIKE 20 EMOS HOLDING THEIR BREATH AT ONCE
they changed it mid song because i think someone was about to start crying
vagina’s are able to stretch wide enough to give birth to a fucking baby and then return to it’s original size but of course being penetrated by that grass blade you call a penis is what’s going to make it “loose”
Uhh. The baby doesnt come out of where the penis goes in…
stay in school y’all
i hate to be the bearer of bad news but the vagina and the vagina are, in fact, the same thing